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One At A Time

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This is a note to self, a journal of sorts. You might find it relevant too…

So a few nights ago, I walked into a music venue with my guitar. The moment I set foot in the door, I was met with a couple of 20-something-looking lads who chanted my name.

'OMG it's Dr Fabola'

'Ah man, so glad you're here tonight’

'I love ya music man, can’t wait to hear you play'

And on and on…

There I was, standing by the door with a guitar on my back, struggling to make out faces through my fogged-up glasses, and I was greeted by the sounds of adoring ‘fans’, all 3 of them. It was nice and disorientating in equal measure. There I was, being recognised by people I didn't know, telling me all about how much they love my music, how seeing me play puts a smile on their faces every time, how talented I am and how glad they were to see me there that night. I felt a wave of gratitude for their words. It instantly improved my mood and it was just the pick-me-up I needed after a long day. But I also felt a wave of confusion and bone-chilling fear coursing through my body.

I was confused, puzzled, befuddled even, because a part of me didn't understand why they seemed so enthusiastic about my music. This may sound strange, but I think of my music as just that, my music. My music is the result of plucking a few strings, mouthing a few words, and making a few sounds with my vocal cords. I do it every day. I do it when I’m alone and I do it when I’m on a stage facing a room full of people, so to me, it's all commonplace. But here I was, faced with people who talked about this music that I live and breathe every day as if to them, it is the best thing since sliced bread, hence my confusion. 

If that wasn’t unusual enough, my confusion co-travelled with fear, as I said. I was scared because in that moment it dawned on me that I had been recognised by people I didn't know, and not for the first time. In other words, I've realised that there are people who have come to be aware of me, my music, my art, my existence, and yet, I have no idea who they are. On the surface, this shouldn't induce fear in my bones, until I consider the possibility that everywhere I go, there may be people that know me who I don't know, that I might be recognised in a local cafe, or on the streets, or in a grocery store. Whenever this thought crosses my mind, it is swiftly followed with a reminder that I have to be on my best behaviour at all times. I can’t afford to have a bad day on the streets, I can’t afford to be caught off guard by someone who wants to tell me how much they love my music, I have to always be ready to smile and nod my head in appreciation for the compliments. The thought that I’ll get approached by someone while having an off moment fills me with so much dread.

That wasn't the first time the thought had crossed my mind either. A few weeks ago I shared a story about how a woman came up to me and told me about how she and her husband had decided to visit the venue I was playing at that evening because a few weeks prior, her husband had seen me play there and had gone home to tell her about 'that doctor that was amazing'. I mention this not to brag – there's not much to brag about really – but to buttress my point, that it is becoming increasingly more likely for people to recognise me in spaces that I frequent, even if these incidents occur somewhat infrequently.

I've never thought of myself as a celebrity, and I still don't. I'm not comfortable with our society's notion of ‘celebrity’. There’s something that doesn’t sit right with me about how we put people on pedestals because they excel at their craft or profession, how the media encourages us to worship certain people, how photographers camp outside their homes to get photos of them, and how we read about what they had for breakfast. It all seems a bit odd and I don't know how I'd cope with that life if I found myself on the receiving end of that sort of treatment. I value my privacy too much to know that I don't want to pick up a magazine or log on to social media to see photos that were taken of me while on a day out with my family. 

For what it's worth, this isn't my reality, at least not yet. These days, when I have encounters like the one I opened this blog with, I marvel. It lifts my spirit and fills me with joy as I said, albeit with a tinge of confusion and fear. Most of all, it makes me thankful that I'm making an impact in the world, one person at a time. The reason I know I'm not a celebrity, and I'm not world famous, is that I'm reminded of it daily. I can always look at the 'metrics', like my social media following, my Spotify and streaming numbers, my ticket sales and so on, and that's enough to ground me in the reality that nobody knows who I am. 

And while I know that I can look at the numbers and ground myself in the knowledge that I’m not a celebrity, I also know that I can look at the feedback I’ve received from people that have been blessed by what I do. There’s no shortage of people that write to me to tell me about how a song they heard me play resonated with them so much, there’s no shortage of strangers that leave kind words of encouragement when they come across clips of me online, and there’s no shortage of encounters like the one with the lads or the couple, that leave me feeling good and energised about my art. 

This is where I remind myself that I should focus on the quality of my impact, as opposed to quantity. A fortress is impressive at a glance, but it is built one brick at a time. A water tank can quell a raging fire, but the tank is filled one drop at a time. The world is a better place when there’s so much love and kindness to go around, but love is spread one person at a time. The end result is impressive because the whole feels greater than the sum of its parts, but it is the parts, or each individual component to be precise, that makes the whole. I choose to view my art through this lens. So when I have chance encounters with some 20-something lads or some 30-something couples, it is more than enough to remind me that my music, my stage presence, my art touches lives, one at a time.

 

PS: Just a reminder that my latest record, All Behind is out now, everywhere. You can listen to it on several platforms. Please share it with a friend, share it with your social networks, and consider subscribing to the newsletter (below), my YouTube channel, or wherever else you listen to music.

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