Or, pursuing the things that matter
Happy Sunday. Last week I wrote about how we’re moulded and shaped by the beliefs we absorb in our formative years. I realised a few days ago that I have more to say on this, so I figured I’d write a follow up post, with a focus this time, on the goals we live our lives striving for.
Before I proceed I feel the need to state that there’s nothing wrong with having goals or working towards something, big or small. On the contrary, more often than not, having a goal that informs your actions and priorities could make for a life worth living. That said, there are two thoughts I’d like to introduce into the mix, framed as ideas that I come back to occasionally to help keep me on the straight and narrow in pursuit of my goals.
Milestones
Goals, by definition, are things we work towards, things that could happen sometime in the future. The implication is that there are often steps that need to be taken in the present to edge us closer to that future, and this paints a picture of some sort of trajectory, movement, or travel in the direction of the goal. The thing about travel, whether in the literal or metaphoric sense, is there are often milestones, mile markers, or some other analogous construct that tells you how far along the journey you are.
Each milestone presents an opportunity to reflect on whether the goal, or the journey is still worth pursuing. The closer you get to the goal (or destination), the more information you have, and that information can be used to make decisions and answer questions like: Is this goal still worth pursuing? Do I need to course-correct? Do I need a detour of any sort en route to the destination?
In addition to the opportunity for reflection, milestones also present an opportunity to pause and savour the journey. It can get quite tiresome, arduous or even lonely in pursuit of lofty goals, and it is all too easy to defer and delay gratification by saying you’ll only celebrate when you hit the goal. But sometimes, celebrating the small wins along the way can energise and motivate you in pursuit of the goal. And what better time or place to do that than at the proverbial milestone?
This idea of taking things one step at a time, and enjoying the journey is exemplified in the quote by writer Harold V. Melchert…
“Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly; steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.”
Costs
This should go without saying, but working towards a goal takes time and often comes at considerable costs, be they financial, or other non-material costs. These aren’t the only costs worth considering. Regular readers of this blog will know that I often think and write about the economic concept of opportunity cost. Simply put, the opportunity cost of something, is the thing you give up in order to acquire that thing.
The costs of pursuing a goal are often straightforward to identify, but what is less easy to discern, is the road that cannot be traversed because of the path you choose to take in pursuit of your goals. A question I find myself asking occasionally is whether the things I choose to give up are less important to me than the potential benefits that will accrue from pursuing my goals.
To illustrate this, my close friends and family know that I enjoy a good game of chess, and play a fair amount. Now, I don’t compete formally or professionally, but I’m always up for a game with a friend or colleague, or a random stranger online. A question I get asked almost every time I play someone IRL is whether I have a professional rating, and if not, why not. For a long time, I didn’t really have an answer to the question, but a few years ago I realised that the answer is quite simple. In order to become a grandmaster or international master, I would need to spend many hours every day studying chess theory, opening theory, middle game theory, end game theory, previous notable matches, and the styles of famous grandmasters. I would also need to devote considerable time and money to playing tournaments far and wide. Players who compete at the highest levels devote the entirety of their waking hours to the game of chess, and it shows when they take to the board. As much as I like the idea of having “grandmaster” as a title, I’m simply not willing to do the work it takes, because if I decided to spend 10 hours a day studying and playing chess, I’d have 10 fewer hours a day to make music, write stories and essays, spend time with my family and friends, and earn a living. It’s that simple. I like to think I could significantly improve my game, but I’m just not willing to put up with the costs.
Which brings me back to that question of whether the things I choose to give up are less important to me than the potential benefits that will accrue from pursuing my goals. This is a question we should all ask ourselves more often, and milestones present ample opportunity for us to do the necessary evaluation we need to answer this question.
As I was mulling over these ideas a few days ago, one of my favourite newsletters dropped, and in it, Writer James Clear said:
“I recently asked a friend if he wanted to hit a certain business milestone and he said, ‘That depends. What does it cost me?’...Writing down your goals is easy…What really matters is whether you want the costs associated with it: the money, the time, the tradeoffs.”
This is all to say that having goals is nice, and often prudent, but in pursuit of these goals it behoves us to regularly savour the journey, and occasionally take stock, so we’re not just striving for the sake of striving, and pursuing goals for the sake of goals, because we might as well be flailing in the dark.
My new album, Hope on the Horizon, is out everywhere now. Not a fan of streaming and want to support my music? You can download a digital version or buy a CD now here. Thank you for listening, spreading the word, and reaching out to share your thoughts. I appreciate it. Have a great week.